I'm back! Well, back to YouTube at least. It's those '4th wall'-Stream Of Consciousness-letting my brain unload...on camera...that fills me with peace. Well, until the video goes live and I get filled with: "what if no one watches it?" or (arguably) worse: "what if people do watch it...and judge me." Well, they will, and they'll likely disagree with your Fandom as Meditation theory. The point is, I tend to use YouTube as my place to be my most real and vulnerable on the internet, for better or for worse. This video doesn't explicitly state that I'm using fandom as a way to help regain some spoons, it's what I'm doing. And while I also did not mention it in the video, I rejoined Tumblr and I'm feeling a lot of feels right now, and that's a good thing.